I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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