oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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