whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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