I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
