Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize