I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
