She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
