Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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