I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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