I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
