You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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