the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
