I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
