a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.