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• (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy

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• (972): View more from Texas

  you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.

  (214): View more from Texas

  round 2?

  (972): View more from Texas

  EVER.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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• (+44): View more from England

  No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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• (305): View more from Florida

  The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more

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• (315): View more from New York

  Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes

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