He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after