There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
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Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.