i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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