I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.