I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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