I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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