I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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