sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
