They should really pass out barf bags in church
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
