Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
