i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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