I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
