We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
