I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
