i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.