Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This is my life. Enjoy the view