I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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