get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.