On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
