I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
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Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
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Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.