If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.