why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
