i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
