is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
