I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
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I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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