I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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