It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize