My liver just broke up with me...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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