how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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