Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
