Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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