I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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