What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
