That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
