that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
