I'm going to jail i love you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm just crazy horny about you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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