My room smells like vodka and shame
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
