that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
