i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
