The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
