Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
