she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
ok first of all what the fuck
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
