Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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