i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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