Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am in a vortex of obligation.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
