Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So squirting runs in the family.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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