My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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