You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
