i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
