I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again