: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
