Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.