...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
