I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
